Forum / General Discussion / Post the weirdest situation you've ever been in.

Post the weirdest situation you've ever been in.

Yeah, so, think back to weird stuff that has happened to you. After a few posts, I will leave one about what happened to me yesterday. It was, for all intents and purposes, absolutely insane.

One time..

OH GOD

noob

Ghetto yeti? Is that what that is?

It looks like the yeti from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

I think?

You mean a wampa?

I got hit with food poisoning in a walmart bathroom, I'm pretty sure someone was in the stall beside me but not for long.

Do we only post one weird situation, or can we post several?  :)

go ahead

I'm not sure where to begin. There's so many of them, but I'll start with this one. Be warned that this story is very explicit, and if you have fragile, virgin ears, then don't read this. The names contained herein will be changed for the sake of the guilty and the innocent

=Round 1=

Some years ago, I'm at the bachelor party of one of my best friends. The groom-to-be (let's call him Karter) does not know what's about to happen to him. We're at the condominium of a mutual friend, all seated around a large couch, covering three sides of the room. The buddy who will soon be married is blissfully unaware of the secret camera squirreled away here in a secret compartment. Another friend (let's call him Reece) is smoking something, presumably something illegal, but it's really oregano.  :mellow:

We all suddenly hear loud thumping at the front door.

Front Door: "This is the police! Open up!"

Reece goes to the front door, and we all see this buff-looking cop.

Karter: (whispering loudly) "You fucker! I told you not to smoke that!"
Reece: "Ummhi. Is everything all right, officer?"
Cop: "We've been hearing some complaints about illegal drug use over here. May I come in?"
Reece: "Umyes, sir. Sure."

The cop comes inside and sees the joint or whatever the Hell it is next to the groom-to-be.

Cop: "What's this?! Do I see drugs?! That's it, buddyyou're under arrest."

The cop starts handcuffing Karter.

.and then begins to engage in a strip-tease.  :wacko:

Another friend in the room turns on the stereo, and the "cop" continues to strip off his clothes, engaging in a bump 'n grind, thrusting his gyrating pelvis right into Karter's shocked face. We all start laughing hysterically  :)

Fortunately for my sanity, the performance does not descend into full nudityand we're all spared the sight of the exotically dancing cop's flailing man-meat. He soon departs

=Round 2=

We spend the next few minutes laughing off the encounter. Karter was mostly a good sport about it, though still a bit pissed. In any case, we soon had the main event, which was the girl who was supposed to dance for us tonight. Most bachelor parties I've gone to are in strip clubs, but I guess this situation was a bit different, as we had the girl come to us. Okay, whatever. So anyway, we hear a knock at the door.

and one of my pals opens it. We hear a cute voice saying, "hi".and my friend chatters away with her for a few seconds, and then lets her inside the house.

Okay, we're surprised. My friend (let's call him Paulos) lets in this cute little black girl with giant knockers. I'm not really thinking anything of it, except that Paulos specifically asked for a blonde girl. :rolleyes: Again, whatever.

She comes in, and we start talking about some of the activities she can do with us. She's able to give us a "Slippery Nipple", where she can put whipped cream on her nipples and we can suck it off. Yeah, that's right. :wacko:

The girl sits on my lap, and suddenly gives me this odd look.

Stripper: "Did we go to school together?"
Me: "No, I don't think so."
Stripper: "Good."

Now I'm thinking:

"Am I really going to do this? This is so bizarre."

I had no intention of doing anything, but I didn't have a girlfriend at the time, and I'm not actually having sex with her, so I reasoned that there'd be no harm in it. So I'm sitting on this couch, sucking this cute little black girl's massive tits right in front of all my friends.

Too. Fucking. Weird.

When my friends get a girlfriend or wife, they all tend to become whipped, so only one or two other guys did what I did. After this part concluded, the girl began her personal dance for Karter. At some point, she had her face right on his junk, rubbing up against it, and she was actually starting to unzip him. Karter is like, "whoa!"

At this point, I'm wondering who the Hell Paulos hired for us. Did he accidentally get us a hooker rather than a stripper?  :huh:

Fortunately, she didn't actually pull out Karter's penis. Thank God.

After she completes that personal dance for him, she showcases one of her other amazing talents. She picks up this very large clear plastic container filled with water, and then inserts it into her vagina.

She then squeezes very hard, and we see the container scrunch inward like it was sucked dry by a vacuum cleaner, while the contents of the container completely disappear

She removes the bottle. Now wherever could all that water have gone?  :wacko:

The girl lies back down on the floor, and then I see her flex. This geyser of water shoots straight across the friggin' room, and we're like, "whoa!!"

We all pull money out of our pockets, and it starts raining dollar bills.

and soon thereafter the girl goes on her merry way.

=The End=

And no, you will never ever see the video of this encounter, so please don't ask. Thanks. :mellow:

Many regards,
the Sacrificial Lamb

I have lots of different stories, but this should do for now

loll that sounds weird. especially the water container thing. wtf. o_O

umm so one time, me and caity and sam were sitting outside of the local grocery store (cause that was our hangout spot all throughout junior high) anyway we're sitting on the sidewalk, minding our own business, when all of a sudden this TRACTOR drives down the sidewalk, heading towards us, and this old man sticks his head out of the window and yells 'GET OUT OF THE WAY OR I'LL RUN YOU KIDS OVER' so we're like 'O_O WTF' and we jump off the sidewalk and he speeds buy, then like 10 seconds later this less-old man comes running after him waving his arms and as he passes us hes like 'dont mind him kids, hes CRAAZYY' and he runs off. o.O

Sacrificial wrote:
I'm not sure where to begin. There's so many of them, but I'll start with this one. Be warned that this story is very explicit, and if you have fragile, virgin ears, then don't read this. The names contained herein will be changed for the sake of the guilty and the innocent

=Round 1=

Some years ago, I'm at the bachelor party of one of my best friends. The groom-to-be (let's call him Karter) does not know what's about to happen to him. We're at the condominium of a mutual friend, all seated around a large couch, covering three sides of the room. The buddy who will soon be married is blissfully unaware of the secret camera squirreled away here in a secret compartment. Another friend (let's call him Reece) is smoking something, presumably something illegal, but it's really oregano.  :mellow:

We all suddenly hear loud thumping at the front door.

Front Door: "This is the police! Open up!"

Reece goes to the front door, and we all see this buff-looking cop.

Karter: (whispering loudly) "You fucker! I told you not to smoke that!"
Reece: "Ummhi. Is everything all right, officer?"
Cop: "We've been hearing some complaints about illegal drug use over here. May I come in?"
Reece: "Umyes, sir. Sure."

The cop comes inside and sees the joint or whatever the Hell it is next to the groom-to-be.

Cop: "What's this?! Do I see drugs?! That's it, buddyyou're under arrest."

The cop starts handcuffing Karter.

.and then begins to engage in a strip-tease.  :wacko:

Another friend in the room turns on the stereo, and the "cop" continues to strip off his clothes, engaging in a bump 'n grind, thrusting his gyrating pelvis right into Karter's shocked face. We all start laughing hysterically  :)

Fortunately for my sanity, the performance does not descend into full nudityand we're all spared the sight of the exotically dancing cop's flailing man-meat. He soon departs

=Round 2=

We spend the next few minutes laughing off the encounter. Karter was mostly a good sport about it, though still a bit pissed. In any case, we soon had the main event, which was the girl who was supposed to dance for us tonight. Most bachelor parties I've gone to are in strip clubs, but I guess this situation was a bit different, as we had the girl come to us. Okay, whatever. So anyway, we hear a knock at the door.

and one of my pals opens it. We hear a cute voice saying, "hi".and my friend chatters away with her for a few seconds, and then lets her inside the house.

Okay, we're surprised. My friend (let's call him Paulos) lets in this cute little black girl with giant knockers. I'm not really thinking anything of it, except that Paulos specifically asked for a blonde girl. :rolleyes: Again, whatever.

She comes in, and we start talking about some of the activities she can do with us. She's able to give us a "Slippery Nipple", where she can put whipped cream on her nipples and we can suck it off. Yeah, that's right. :wacko:

The girl sits on my lap, and suddenly gives me this odd look.

Stripper: "Did we go to school together?"
Me: "No, I don't think so."
Stripper: "Good."

Now I'm thinking:

"Am I really going to do this? This is so bizarre."

I had no intention of doing anything, but I didn't have a girlfriend at the time, and I'm not actually having sex with her, so I reasoned that there'd be no harm in it. So I'm sitting on this couch, sucking this cute little black girl's massive tits right in front of all my friends.

Too. Fucking. Weird.

When my friends get a girlfriend or wife, they all tend to become whipped, so only one or two other guys did what I did. After this part concluded, the girl began her personal dance for Karter. At some point, she had her face right on his junk, rubbing up against it, and she was actually starting to unzip him. Karter is like, "whoa!"

At this point, I'm wondering who the Hell Paulos hired for us. Did he accidentally get us a hooker rather than a stripper?  :huh:

Fortunately, she didn't actually pull out Karter's penis. Thank God.

After she completes that personal dance for him, she showcases one of her other amazing talents. She picks up this very large clear plastic container filled with water, and then inserts it into her vagina.

She then squeezes very hard, and we see the container scrunch inward like it was sucked dry by a vacuum cleaner, while the contents of the container completely disappear

She removes the bottle. Now wherever could all that water have gone?  :wacko:

The girl lies back down on the floor, and then I see her flex. This geyser of water shoots straight across the friggin' room, and we're like, "whoa!!"

We all pull money out of our pockets, and it starts raining dollar bills.

and soon thereafter the girl goes on her merry way.

=The End=

And no, you will never ever see the video of this encounter, so please don't ask. Thanks. :mellow:

Many regards,
the Sacrificial Lamb

oh my godi wouldve gaped her right then and there sir

ThuGG wrote:
oh my godi wouldve gaped her right then and there sir

  >___O I CAN HEAR YOU. (read your posts.)

I think we need Finisher to post his story now.  ;)

Kar wrote:

ThuGG wrote:
oh my godi wouldve gaped her right then and there sir

  >___O I CAN HEAR YOU. (read your posts.)

ur allowed to get high on shrooms but im not allowed to talk about gaping women :( not fair woman not fair

Lmfao thanks for sharing that story sac i laughed pretty hard :P

i came

Satros wrote:
Lmfao thanks for sharing that story sac i laughed pretty hard :P

Glad you liked it. Now we just have to get Finisher to give us his story. :ph34r:

ThuGG wrote:
oh my godi wouldve gaped her right then and there sir

The temptation was strong, but the situation felt really weird, so I restrained myself. The night was already enough of a thrill, believe me. ;)