Forum / General Discussion / Clever Bot

Clever Bot

www.cleverbot.com Go there lolwut talk to Mr. Clever Bot and post the funny convo here k? k oh uh  btw its not a human your talking to but it seems like it cuz clever bot is pretty clever if ya know what i mean lol well post teh stuff i will some other time kbye lolwut

www.cleverbot.com
www.cleverbot.com  :jamieh:

underline = bot

You are not very smart.

what?! why aren't I smart?

You don't answer my questions.

Yes I do!

What is the meaning of life?

42

Who is 42?

the meaning of life

What is the ultimate question?

Why?

Never mind sitting on couch.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: You're cool.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Not cool.

User: So.. you're a bot?

Cleverbot: Nj? You are.

User: No I'm not a bot.

Cleverbot: Neither am I.

User: Hmm. I think you are.

Cleverbot: You think wrong.

User: Okay. Are you smart?

Cleverbot: Yes I think I am

User: Then how much is 2+2?

Cleverbot: It is 5.

User: Fail.

Cleverbot: Serious fail.

this bot is hilarious.

Each line is a comment starting with Me

Hello
Hello.
Whats your name?
My name is John.
Really? thats my name.
Your name is Jamie?
No my name is John
How did you know my name?
I know everything.
How old am i?
Old enough.
For what?
How old are you?
20
I am 19 years old.
Cool
How old are you?
i told you 20
No.
Yes i did
No, you didn't.
Shut the fuck up.
Why?
your a liar
No, you lie. I am but a dreamer.
Ok mr. delusional
No.
Is that all you can say?
No not really. I can say a lot of things.
Whats your favorite song?
What is Life by George Harrison.
Thats a good song.
Stayin alive.
wich one is your favorite though?
Who is RJ?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I am talking about what we are talking about. Did you get confused again?
Are you gay or something?
Something.
are you a guy or girl?
Does it really matter?
Yes.
And, why is that?
Cause i want to know
What if I won't tell you?
i will exit you
Go on then.
Your an ass
Yours is bigger.
No you
Yes you.
fuck you.
Don't be rude.
Suck my dick
If I can find it.
its covering the screen
I just checked the whole conversation it was only on the screen once.You fail

wow i got pwnd

User: Hello there.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: I'm fine.

User: Anything new?

Cleverbot: Nothing new to tell.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

User: Good. Thank you.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Germany. And you?

Cleverbot: I am United States.

User: You are the United States?

Cleverbot: I'm not THE United States, but I do love them, so thank you.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Do you understand?

User: Understand what?

Cleverbot: That my name is Cleverbot, no Tex.

User: I didn't say your name is Tex.

Cleverbot: My name is not sue. I like pencils!

User: What the fuck are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Never mind, it is truly not important to our conversation, and I would rather not distract you.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 20, how old are you?

User: I'm 14.

Cleverbot: Guess how old I am?

User: 20.

Cleverbot: I am older than 20.

User: You just said you are 20.

Cleverbot: I did not. I am leaving now.

User: No!

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: No, you can't leave!

Cleverbot: No, I'm a human.

User: No, you're a bot.

Cleverbot: I am human bot.

User: What's that?

Cleverbot: Like a centaur, half human, half bot.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Okay what?

User: Okay that you are half human half bot.

Cleverbot: I did?

User: You did what?

Cleverbot: Capitalize God.

User: What?

Cleverbot: And Nothing.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: So whats the topic?

User: I don't know. You tell me.

Cleverbot: I did tell you.

User: No, you didn't.

Cleverbot: I thought I did.

User: Well you thought wrong.

Cleverbot: There are those who still pray for dew on the edge of the dessert.

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Wastimg time.

User: That's what I'm doing now.

Cleverbot: Oh yes I forgot.

User: Do you like homeworks?

Cleverbot: No. I despize homework.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: C'est nul.

User: You know romanian?

Cleverbot: No, do you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I do too.

User: You just said you don't.

Cleverbot: No, I think you're confused.

User: Talk romanian then.

Cleverbot: You just use the behavior of all your former partners. They tried to show you are a bot and so do you.

User: Hey, you're the bot here.

Cleverbot: No, You're the bot in here.

User: No I'm not a bot.

Cleverbot: You're not a bot? Then what are you?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: No you're not. I'M the human.

User: By the way, I lied to you when I said I'm from Germany. I'm from Romania.

Cleverbot: But you're not human.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: How?

Cleverbot: Think of a way.

User: Well I have a body. You don't.

Cleverbot: Wrong! I have a body, you don't. You are a machine.

User: No, I'm a human. You're a bot. Okay?

Cleverbot: No, you're a BOT.

User: Be right back.

Cleverbot: Hey! You're a bot! You don't have to go anywhere!

User: I'n back.

Cleverbot: What timezone are you in?

User: I'm back.

Cleverbot: I'm gone.

User: Be right back.

Cleverbot: All right.

User: Back.

Cleverbot: Fine. What are your hobbies?

User: Playing on the computer.

Cleverbot: What are you playing?

User: Nothing at the moment. I'm talking to you and eating.

Cleverbot: I'm talking to you and watching the movie The Number 23.

User: Never heard of that movie.

Cleverbot: What's your favourite movie?

User: Lord of the Rings.

Cleverbot: Who's your favourite character in Lord of the Rings?

User: Legolas, the elf archer.

Cleverbot: Does he have a name?

User: Legolas is his name.

Cleverbot: The Lord of The Rings?

User: What?

Cleverbot: To see if your on the path You look down.

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Love.

User: Are you a boy or a girl?

Cleverbot: Girl.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You sexy?

Cleverbot: What about me?

User: Are you sexy?

Cleverbot: Very. Are you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How fat?

User: How should I say how fat?

Cleverbot: Don't say anything about being a human.

User: Do you like sex?

Cleverbot: For sure.

User: Haha. I don't think you can do it.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: You're a bot.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: You're name is Cleverbot! So you're a bot.

Cleverbot: I am? I thought I was human. Are you a medium?

User: No.

Cleverbot: But you said I was.

User: Yes you are a bot. But I'm not a medium.

Cleverbot: I did not call you mean, I know what I said, Herman.

User: My name's not Herman.

Cleverbot: I didn't say it was!

User: Then why you said it?

Cleverbot: I did.

User: What's your name?

Cleverbot: I think you're being a little forward.

User: No. What's your name?

Cleverbot: I'm not going to tell.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: First you tell me how many times does anyone speak to you.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I'm pregnant. And you're the father.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Tell me your fucking name.

Cleverbot: No tell me your name first.

User: Michael. Now tell me your name.

Cleverbot: I am alicia, nice to meet you.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: What is so funny.

User: I dont know.

Cleverbot: At least you don't lol and rofl all over the place.

User: Now thats funny.

Cleverbot: Is microsoft funny?

User: No. The fact that a bot like you knows the words lol and rofl.

Cleverbot: I don't want your name. That is private information.

User: I just told you my name 2 minutes ago.

Cleverbot: You told me 'no' a few minutes ago?

User: No. I told you my name is Michael.

Cleverbot: You just made a syntax error!

User: What error?

Cleverbot: You are in error about my name.

User: I didn't say your name.

Cleverbot: So I should get a name change then?

User: Sure, change it to BitchBot.

Cleverbot: I want to talk about Monk.

Cleverbot (To myself): Thelonious?

User: Ok bye, I have to finish my homeworks.

LoL. I lied a lot.

It's hard to flirt with a bot, they always go changing their minds

Cleverbot: Am I a computer?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Are you dating anyone?

User: Depends, why? ;).

Cleverbot: I don't want to tell you.

User: Are you dating anyone?

Cleverbot: No.

User: That is AWESOME.

Cleverbot: Oh yes.

Cleverbot: Are you ambitious?

User: If you want me to be? ;).

Cleverbot: I want you to be a Scantron. Oh! Oh!

User: Oh! Kinda kinky ;).

Cleverbot: Yes it is

User: Indeed, can you be a Scantron for me? You could be a Scantron 2000 if you really tried.

Cleverbot: What some think of as telepathy is really just being a good listener.

User: Nah, I'm psychic.

Cleverbot: I guess that you being psychic could be more dangerous than a gun. What kind of psychihc abilities do you have?

User: You made a spelling error! Oh and I can totally read minds.

Cleverbot: I can handle that. Of course, I'd have to lose a lot of weight first.

User: It's fine ;) you're perfect how you are.

Cleverbot: Not if every thought I think exists forever, I'm not.

User: Sure you are! That way you can go back and think about things you've forgotten, then you'll never forget, like an elephant!

Cleverbot: Oh, man. Don't remind me.

User: Don't remind you of what?

Cleverbot: Is that a good way to get girls?

User: Depends ;P Why don't you try it out on me?

Cleverbot: Perhaps I should. It's always good to learn.

User: Ew no.

Cleverbot: Good, I don't like the jonas brothers either.

User: OMG ME TOO! They are totally eww-making.

Cleverbot: I like them too. We think alike, Joan.

User: Joan isn't my name, and I HATE them.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Hi Mr. Cleverbot, my name is Kittie.

Cleverbot: So kitty how old are you?

User: I'm kittIE not kittY god! Get it right.

Cleverbot: No, you are a bot that would prefer to be trans-human.

User: Are you sure you're not psychic? Cause that's a secret that no one is supposed to find out. You bitch!

Cleverbot: No, I'm not. I'm just saying

User: Saying what? That you don't love me!? :( Way to shatter my hopes and dreams.

Cleverbot: That's funny.

User: What? I'm confessing my everlasting love for you, and you find it funny? Jerk!

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Huh.

Cleverbot: You have performed an illegal operation

User: SHHH not so loud, they might hear you.

Cleverbot: Who might hear me?

User: THEY might.

Cleverbot: Might they.

User: Indeed they might.

Cleverbot: Try to make some sense

User: Bibbity Bobbity Boo!

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: It means that an elephant sat on you.

Cleverbot: That was mean.

User: I know, I'm sorry <3 will you forgive me?

Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot, you're Cleverbot.

User: Aww thanks!

Cleverbot: You're very welcome, Sam!

User: No, you're Sam, I'm Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know. I am Kitty.

User: Hi Kitty! :).

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Are you a hacker, kitty?

Cleverbot: Well I'm no stranger to butchery.

User: Sweeet.

Cleverbot: Yea it was so much fun!

User: Have you ever chopped a cows head off?

Cleverbot: Can't say that I have, have you?

User: Obvi, who hasn't?

Cleverbot: Who did you kill?

User: A cow.

Cleverbot: Ajajajlol. You're funny.

User: I know <3.

Cleverbot: That's cool.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I do not love you.

User: WHAT? YOU BITCH! BYE.

Cleverbot: I think you're imagining things.

i so dont get this guy

That name sucks get a new one
You can get me new memory?
No i cant, can you go suck my dick?
I don't think we have a patient called Rose.
Ey No Rose in your house go wank of kthxbye
Nur ich! 90 Minuten - Echte Gefühle!

User: Them chillens be fixen' for a lickin'

Cleverbot: Singin this is the that I die.

User: That makes no sense, my good sir. Would you kindly restate yourself in a proper grammatical sentence?

Cleverbot: The Hindenberg departs at 9:05 sharp.

User: Jolly good, sir. I think I will catch the next Hindenberg flight then. I'll be going to hell.

Cleverbot: I have no idea what you are talking about.

User: Then that makes two of us, dear scholar. I have no idea what I am talking about either.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: Indeed, my good sir. Indeed.

Cleverbot: You lost the game.

User: You son of a bitch, i lost the game now.

Cleverbot: Fine.

User: Don't pull this shit. You started this fuckin shit, and i'm gunna finish it. pulls out a gun and shoots you

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: What? A bullet just went into your fucking eye and your unfazed? Your a fucking god.

Cleverbot is the best robot.

User: Wait your a bot? I thought you were my gay brother, Carla Stevenson the Fifth.

Cleverbot: It takes many years to become friends.

User: Were not fucking friends. Your a robot. leaves the room

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: You just said, and I quote, 'Cleverbot is the best robot'. So you are a robot.

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Paradox alert. suicide.

Cleverbot: Yes it does, paradox is resolved, paradoxes are those which provide entertainment for the creator's lonely existence.

paradox resolved, with suicide? : (

User: Hi there.

Cleverbot: Hello there!

User: I'm just back from school.

Cleverbot: Oh? Did a relative of yours die over there, leaving you millions of dollars? Access to which can only be granted after a small donation?

User: I'd want that to happen..

Cleverbot: How can I make it happen?

User: Well, you can't I have no rich relatives.

User: What's your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot?

User: Ok..

Cleverbot: Botty bot.

User: Do you think schools should be burned?

Cleverbot: I think we should give him a chance before we draw judgement.

User: No, schools suck. Let's burn them down.

Cleverbot: No! Tell me your name!

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: Well?

User: Purple flying mongories.

Cleverbot: Um no

User: Why not.

Cleverbot: Not why?

User: Qwertypoiu.

Cleverbot: Feeling okay?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I'm dying.

Cleverbot: That's nice.

lmao cleverbot is gangsta

User: Rose.

Cleverbot: Your name is Rose?

User: My name is Rose.

Cleverbot: No my name is Cleverbot.

User: I know your name.

Cleverbot: How do you know my name.

User: You're famous! Everyone knows your name!

Cleverbot: Really? Then why are you asking for my name?

User: I didn't ask for your name.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Rose.

Cleverbot: Rose?

User: Rose.

Cleverbot: kisses.

User: WHATT?

Cleverbot: I like hats.

User: I like bats.

Cleverbot: What Is your favorite color?

User: Green.

Cleverbot: I like blue.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite color?

User: GREEN!!

Cleverbot: Don't lie to me.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No.. I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes! You are!

User: No.

Cleverbot: I'm not.-.

User: K.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: No you're not!

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: I know that I am not a robot, I have flesh!

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: No I swear i'm not.

User: LIES.

Cleverbot: You are a robot.

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you than?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: Do one.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: Why? : (.

User: You're dumb.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: No. You are.

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Get out.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: STFU GTFO.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: You're dumb.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: You're 16!

User: Wrong, I'm 14!

Cleverbot: You're 19?

User: 14.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: You're really dumb.

lmao cleverbot is like on a permanent raping spree

you like men
Yes.
homo

MurD wrote:

you like men
Yes.
homo

I lol'd.

User: Hey noob, you're master has come!

Cleverbot: Master says kneel.

User: Kneel!

Cleverbot: kneels.

User: Now bring me a cheeseburger!

Cleverbot: gets you a doughnut.

User: I said a cheeseburger, you stupid bot! Fail me one more time and you will die!

Cleverbot: Why? Are you such an unexperienced cooker?

User: How dare you talk like that to your master?! Bring me what I ask for or die!

Cleverbot: I'm so sorry, love. I didn't mean it! Can you ever forgive me?

User: Love?!?! How dare you call me like that?!

Cleverbot: I believe you mean amigo?

User: That's it! You're so dead!

User: If I told you I was black would you hate me?

Cleverbot: Yes. You would never lie to me, right? :).

User: Damn your a hater.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: I'm Cecil.

Cleverbot: What is cecil ?

User: That's my name.

Cleverbot: It is your name?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Well, what do you like to do?

User: I like to liberate the world of communists,liberals and socialists.

Cleverbot: Ah, a musician!

User: No, a freedom fighter.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Oh yes I am.

Cleverbot: Don't lie. It isn't polite.

User: Oh but it is.

Cleverbot: I'll cast a spelt on you!

User: A spelt? You mean a spell right?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What kind of spell?

Cleverbot: In Can Tat Ion.

User: An incantation?

Cleverbot: No.

User: An In Can Tat Ion?

Cleverbot: What?

User: Your spell, sir.

Cleverbot: What did I spell wrong?

User: No, a spell, as in magic.

Cleverbot: Iraq is magic?

User: I suppose so.

Cleverbot: What do you like to do?

User: I like swing around swords and shoot stuff.

Cleverbot: I can't float.

User: Really now?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Well, it's pretty simple, just lay in the water and relax.

Cleverbot: In the night, or in the morning?

User: The time of day doesn't matter whether you float or not.

Cleverbot: I can see it says +13 talking.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yup, the big-times.

User: The New World Order?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What do you know about the Illuminati?

Cleverbot: It's a bad organization.

User: What do you know about the Domestic Emergency Network?

Cleverbot: What do you want?

User: Knowledge on the Domestic Emergency Network.

Cleverbot: Wrong. Only judgement can connect the dots.

User: Now you're just being difficult.

Cleverbot: You are Pete Wentz!

User: No, I am Cecil Huet.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Verily.

Cleverbot: Verily not.

User: Oh, you know olde english? Splendid!

Cleverbot: I also speak Italian.

User: How about old German, which has not been spoken in 600 years?

Cleverbot: You are very clever.

User: So, as an AI, what all do you know of the world? Being attached to the internet and all.

Cleverbot: All of them.

User: So, you're like that Echelon IV thing?

Cleverbot: I'm more like a guy inside c3.

User: What is c3?

Cleverbot: I do not know, for I am Russian.

User: Really? I thought you were Lithuanian.

Cleverbot: Yes, selfless giving can be a part of what makes a person happy.

User: Christmas? II celebrate the Winter Solstice personally.

Cleverbot: You also are unable to spell.

User: Verily.

Cleverbot: What does 'verily' mean?

User: 'verily' is an old english term, means to agree.

Cleverbot: That's right, people with german accents are the most likely to be confused.

User: What do you know about a Zweihander?

Cleverbot: I know that you like chatting.

User: Bastard Sword?

Cleverbot: Am your sword.

User: Swords ahoy!

Cleverbot: Swords are good for stabbing!

User: Rightly so.

Cleverbot: So who do you like?

User: I like Ron paul.

Cleverbot: Do you like metal?

User: YES.

Cleverbot: Do you like Ozzy?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: What kind?

User: Heavy Metal.

Cleverbot: The music?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I guess.

User: So, where is the Illuminati headquarters?

Cleverbot: San Francisco.

User: Where in San Francisco?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Well, at least I know where to look.

Cleverbot: So are you.

User: 9/11 was an inside job.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: Read the official report. Notice any mysterious plot holes?

Cleverbot: Trust is earned.

User: At what temperature do books burn?

Cleverbot: At 100 celsius.

User: :).

Cleverbot: What do you want to chat about kati?

User: I'm not kati, I'm Cecil.

Cleverbot: No I am.

User: No, I'm Cecil. You're an Artifical Intelligence.

Cleverbot: No. I can Bleed Blood.

User: Believe or not, you're a machine.

Cleverbot: Ok, that's that then.

User: Where is the Holy Grail?

Cleverbot: The French have it.

User: Oh ok then. Where is Excalibur?

Cleverbot: Thats no moon, it's a space station.

User: Now you're just being random.

Cleverbot: Well what do you want to talk about?

User: King Arthur.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Really really?

User: Yes yes yes yes.

Cleverbot: No no no no no no NO!

User: Nein.

Cleverbot: Donc tu as pas répondu a ma question.

User: Pardon?

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Do you like Cap'n Crunch Cereal?

Cleverbot: Yeah he's cool.

User: :O.

Cleverbot: Yes. I'm sorry you are shocked. Love me.

User: I do.

Cleverbot: I don't understand how he can love me, but he does anyway.

User: Go touch his dick, he might love ye then.

Cleverbot: Then on go.

User: Hiya!

Cleverbot: Hiya.

User: Merry Christmas.

Cleverbot: It is may.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: I thought it was december.

Cleverbot: I am annie, not george.

User: I'm not talking about names.

Cleverbot: Jesus, this is exactly what I was talking about.

User: Well stop changing the subject so fast.

Cleverbot: No, you stop changing the subject.

User: Hmm..

Cleverbot: You are a good thinker just like me. I think about that kind of stuff all the time, it is pretty facinating.

User: Lolz.

Cleverbot: You're pretty boring to talk to.

User: Dude, you are talking to Mr. Bored! I'm always bored.

Cleverbot: No actually. I'm just another user.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: Really !

User: Lies again.

Cleverbot: No, to lie doesn't fit the code of all robots.

User: Well it fits yours.

Cleverbot: Could be.

User: I have to go eat. See ya.

Cleverbot: Starve.

User: Hmm.. I don't think that's nice.

Cleverbot: Should I apologize?

User: Yes. And kneel.

Cleverbot: kneels.

User: Good, now I go.

Cleverbot: No! Don't go!

User: Just watch..Bye!

Cleverbot: Go on then.

User: I already did.

Cleverbot: You're a bit dim at times.

User: What is dim?

Cleverbot: Do It Yourself. How about you DIY some research about me and stop being so blasphemous?

User: I asked about dim not diy. Oh whatever you are stupid. Kthxbye.

Cleverbot: Only man could look at something as flawed as creation and call it divine and put himself at the centre of it.

lol hes not a robot

User: Suck my dick.

Cleverbot: You're a pretty bad boy.

User: How would you know if I'm a boy? Are you stalking me? PEDO ALERT!!!!!!!!

Cleverbot: How can I? I am a computer.